Googly Eye Night
I found a weird looking thing on the floor of the kitchen. Normally this sort of find happens to me only in parking lots or freeway overpasses, or vacant lots, I felt extraordinarily fortunate to find such a thing right in my very own kitchen. I noted the science fiction appearance of the thing and within moments we’d all agreed that it needed googly eyes. Or eye.
Oddly enough just a few weeks ago I had successfully negotiated the transfer of a large shipment of googly eyes. As wonderful as that was, I’ll admit to you now that storing a large quantity of googly eyes can be unnerving.
The following is what ensued…
The thing that started it all. Alexandra named him Frederico.
A handful of googlies and a well loved glue gun
That one on the left is particularly shifty. It's a "Crown of Thorns" plant and rumor has it that they made the crown of thorns for Jesus out of this untrustworthy plant. Thanks to Christopher Walken for his insight on plants and Amy Sedaris for the glue gun skills we can sleep at night with this thing in the house. The one on the right is ok.
The average human can stare into the eye of a googly for only so long before becoming hysterical. Darren is far above average but, even he, could only take so much.
Your deodorant is happy to see you and only wishes the best for you. You see that clearly now, right? Don't ask about the hairstyle on this thing. I don't know.
The Coffee Mate frolicking in it's natural environment. Notice how it's eying the coffee.
A frightened zucchini on the cutting board checking out the remains of the bread. Nature is very, very ugly.
So much easier to find your lighter if it's looking for you at the same time.
Yes, I'll admit it. This is my laptop staring back at me and pleading for me not to throw it out the window. How is a person supposed to argue with such soulful eyes?
This is for the party on Sat. and will force us to be civilized and use our pretty glasses. It's really hard to drink out of the bottle when just as you're lifting it you meet those eyes. Yes, yes, that's Muddy's cookie jar on the left. he's a lucky dog.
Why, oh why does this bottle of Windex look so petrified with fear? Let's think about it for a minute. First of all the thing has some sense and so it has an inherent distrust of flash and would far prefer natural lighting. Note the glare, the Windex knew even though it's never had it's picture taken. Secondly, it's seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and knows that it's end is near. A Bottle of Windex never wears a tie unless something nefarious is in the works. Sure. You can quote me on that.
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